Keep on the Shadowfell -- Remixed

Wherein we Perform an Iron Root Canal

There really isn’t too much to say about this session: we didn’t talk to anybody, and we didn’t really learn anything new.

All we managed to accomplish is to save the Winterhaven metro area from the looming threat posed by the foul hobgoblin, Irontooth, and his band of kobold warriors.

Based on scouting reports from Winterhaven, we trudged into the wilderness and eventually came upon a thick stand of trees. Beyond this was a river, fed by a waterfall. We sent Merric in to reconnoiter, and he reported a small force of kobold warriors, seemingly led by a spellcaster who stood inside a glowing runic circle. We planned our routes of attack and went in—and, as always, pandemonium ensued.

We engaged in battle with the Lord God F*ing Shogun Emperor of All Minions, whose single hit point was apparently encased in diamond-studded adamantium. Time and again our tactics were thwarted by the constant annoyance of difficult terrain that took up two-thirds of the battlefield. Which looked like this, apparently:

Iron Tooth Cave

Moirae did manage to capture and dominate the runic circle (not pictured);and Merric’s valiant attempts to be a toe-to-toe melee fighter resulted in his being knocked out.

Three times.

Yet, we prevailed. And after a short rest, we continued on.

Having seen what looked like pathways leading into the cliff behind the waterfall, we sent our watery-looking Genasi, Jett, forward to investigate. He poked his head through the cascade, immediately saw a group of kobolds, and withdrew it again. We then sent Merric to sneak forward and scout out a drier entrance next to the waterfall. This one seemed like it had a better angle of approach, so we entered and attacked.

Although we were plagued by bad dice rolls throughout the evening, our invasion seemed to be working fairly well. Jett was handling the tougher kobold warriors, and Venjin advanced to distract some kobold slingers who were using fire, stink-bomb, and spooge missiles to harry our rogue and bard. Wil’s fanciness was threatened when he was hit squarely with one of the stink-bombs, which we decided was filled with Axe Body Spray. Wil and those near him suffered for two rounds until he made his save, thus regaining his fanciness. Wil, Moirae, and Merric were hitting well, when the dice allowed.


Then Irontooth and his backup dancers appeared. Right in front of Venjin, your humble narrator, all by himself at the rear of the cavern.

Goblin Warrior

Reinforcements in the shape of Jett and Merric soon arrived to help Venjin, who was badly bloodied by the time they arrived. And it wasn’t long before the mighty Irontooth, with some sort of whirlwind strike, took down Jett and Venjin both at the same time. He got to enjoy this for about four seconds, at which point Merric slashed his femoral artery and killed him. Seeing this, the last surviving member of Irontooth’s retinue fled the field.

We gathered up our enemies’ gold and a mysterious note written in Common (but with a lot of goblin terminology interspersed that made it hard to interpret). We also took trophies—Irontooth’s head, and the tails of his kobold followers—to prove our victory to the folk of Winterhaven. Then we headed back.

Along the road we encountered some scouts out of Winterhaven, and reported our victory to them. They rode ahead of us to let the town know we were coming back victorious. Which meant that, when we arrived with the setting sun, all of Winterhaven was gathered to regale us with cheers and a great feast (and for the non-Venjin members of the group, presumably drinking and inappropriate sexual conduct, as well).

Moirae was less than impressed with what Winterhaven had to offer and was about to retire to her room in the inn when the group ran into Valthruun. He began to tell us about what he had learned about the mysterious keep and its history.

At our next session, when we wake up the following morning, we will somehow have grown more talented and harder to kill, and have learned additional powers. But who’s complaining?

That’s where the session ended—after a very tightly managed 4 hours of uninterrupted combat. Kudos to everyone for staying focused and getting it all done in one night!


Well, Merric made a good effort with the “or die trying” part. But then he stabbed the boss in the face, so it all worked out in the end.


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